Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Reflections & Gratitude

It's been very sad to see the number of players dwindle on the server.  I've lost several good friends due to boredom and Tera.  Lots of complaints have been posted on the game forum and several blogger friends have become silent.  I hope they find their way back again.

It would have been the end for me a month ago, on that fateful day, April 5th, after the unsuccessful attempt at Cortez.

I was ready to throw in the towel on Sword2, as in never coming back.

At that time I decided I had done all I could do in the game as a part time player (weekday evenings and weekends only).  I spent a year grinding my first master team, another half year getting a handful of gears, but I felt I hit a wall.  Everyone else I knew was way more geared than I was and able to solo a bunch of raids.  When I go to raids in squads, everyone massacred while I ate their dust and got left behind.  These kinds of things left me feeling very unconfident about my abilities and my gear and made me unmotivated to try things.

But on that same day that I could have said my goodbyes to everyone, one individual kept circling their team around mine while we waited in Lucifer Basement for Bribantra, nudging me not to give up.  I didn't know then that this person was going to become my senpai.  He took me to several raids* that day, raids which most people probably do as part of their dailies, but for me, it was like opening up secret quests (*and still does, when we have time, always encouraging me to try things).

I started to feel like I still had a lot to do in Sword2.

I was being challenged.
I was motivated to be challenged.
I was building up more confidence from these challenges.

I can solo Circus.
I can vesp effectively. 
I learned how to properly use my team in Tower of Chaos.
I take time to do two Castilla Mines bosses and even soloed the entire raid once.  This I never thought I could do.
I am improving in Prison which used to be like pulling teeth to me and made me cry every time I got smashed.  Now I actually WANT to be in an ogre cell by myself to see how much damage I can inflict on that ogre.
There are still a lot of things left to try out, such as Bounty Hunter Occulta and Sedecram.

The upcoming major goal for me is learning to triple Whole Cancellation in ToC.  It will probably take me awhile to learn to do it with finesse like senpai, but I'm up for the challenge.

I am very lucky to have found a "Blue Crane" buffer pet that gives +1000 Challenge +1000 Motivation and +1000 Confidence.

Thank you, Erisia, for being a mentor who patiently coaches and supports and provides advice.  I am extremely grateful for all your guidance.  I am still in Sword2 because of you.  m(_ _)m

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